Always Looking Through The Lens

She is absolutely beautiful. She is genuine. She laughs at inappropriate things. You rarely see her not smiling. She will laugh at the most random things. She will literally do anything for anyone if they just ask. She is one of my best friends. I seriously do not know how I could have made it through some times without her. She knows me better than most and never judges no matter what. Simply put, she is a wonderful person inside and out! 

So, why am I blogging about her? What makes her so special? Well, here’s the thing. This girl is unlike any other. She is such an inspiration to me. The way her mind works is amazing to me. 

I tease her, a lot. That’s just how we are. But in all reality, I look up to her more than she knows. Sure, everyone has bad days but there are days when she could have had the worst day. She will rant and rant. Then, she pauses and usually says something like “but, it could be worse” or “but I just need to pray about it and I will feel a lot better and everything will be fine.” Who does that? When I am mad the last thing I want to do is look at the bright side of things. I mean seriously. But she does. Always. She sees things unlike any other person I have ever met. I can always count on her for encouraging words when I am worrying or stressed out and a joke or something completely random to make me smile or laugh when I am down or having a bad day. 

Did I mention she is a writer? Oh yes, she is an amazing writer. She will end up somewhere like New York or a traveling journalist around Europe and people will “Awe” at how amazing her writing is. Don’t believe me? It’s true. Just wait. 

I am not a good blogger. In fact, I am a terrible blogger. Basically, school consumes my life. This semester more than any of the others I could literally do homework every single night and a lot of the time I do. However, on top of school I try to maintain somewhat of a social life. I am an officer in my social club, I work as a student photographer for the school, and sometimes I do not feel like doing homework and I simply just want to hang out with friends. 

Let’s talk about my friends for a second. I have amazing friends. I know everyone says that but seriously. There are two in particular heavy on my mind these past few days. 

The first one is a guy. He is one of my closest friends. We know more about each other than most. Contrary to popular belief, we are not going to get married. We have never been more than just friends. I can literally say since we met freshman year at college he has always been there for me. Of course, like any other long time friends you will have disagreements, arguments and sometimes you may even have a flat out brawl. 
But no matter what, he is still one of my best friends. The other night he went to the ER. We had heard about someone going but did not know who. When I heard the name my heart jumped out of my chest. I was so mad yet, I wanted to cry all at the same time. How could he have been so stupid? What was he thinking? I wonder if he is okay? Should I drive to Jackson? How severe is his condition? 
That night I stayed up late with my mind racing. Oh, my heart would hurt if this would have happened to anyone but there are those handful of my guy friends that I could not even fathom if something serious happened. I go into “fix-it” mode or “motherly” mode and want to do anything in my power to make them feel better or get them anything they need in order to make the recovery process go faster. These guys know that I would do anything for them. I tell them this on a regular basis. 

Okay, so here is my point. The old saying, “you never know how much you miss someone until their gone” well, I think that applies to so much more. You really do not realize how much you care for someone until something serious happens to them. My stomach still gets sick thinking about what happened to my friend and it gets even worse when I realize that I can’t snap my fingers and make the pain go away. 

I never understood the reality of “don’t take your friends for granted.” This is so unbelievably true. The disagreements may seem so big, the arguments may seem to matter, the fights may seem to be unforgivable. But, do me a favor; take a step back and look at your relationship with that person. If something were to happen to them that very second how big would that disagreement seem? How much would that argument seem to matter? How unforgivable does that fight seem now? 

This post got to be a lot longer than I planned so we’ll talk about my other friend tomorrow :) 

**One of my favorite poems of all time**

somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

—E.E. Cummings

Justin Gerhardt, the Outreach Minister at Henderson Church of Christ here in Henderson, TN posted this story. Mrs. Roberta is an amazing, inspiring woman so full of life and will do just about anything for anyone. She has been in Haiti for I believe around 12 or 14 years, I may be a little off but somewhere around there and has 25-28 adopted children that she houses, feeds and takes care of, as well as runs a nutrition center and feeds over a 150 children every weekday, twice a day.

justingerhardt:

Shared this story in church last night. So awesome.

As soon as he heard about the earthquake in Haiti, my friend Josh got on a plane to the Dominican Republic and found a spot on a truck headed across the border to Port-Au-Prince.

He was trying to get to a small orphanage run by a Christian friend of his named Roberta. Josh has an adopted daughter from Haiti and he’s spent a lot of time helping with Roberta and her kids.

When the earthquake happened, a wall surrounding the orphans’ house collapsed, killing one of the children. Roberta was out of the country and couldn’t get back right away, so the other kids buried their friend in the back yard.

Thankfully, Josh managed to get there a couple of days after the quake to help until Roberta returned. He calmed the kids down, put up some razor wire to secure the property’s perimeter, and took stock of what provisions they had on hand.

Josh said the moment Roberta got back, she walked in, checked on the kids, and asked “How much food do we have?”

“Between us, the kids, and the now-homeless church members sleeping on the property, about a month’s worth,” Josh told her.

“Alright,” she said, “put aside food for two days, and let’s start giving the rest away to the neighbors.”

Now, if that’s not taking Jesus’ words in Luke 6:38 seriously, I don’t know what is:

“Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

But here’s the kicker: the next day, Roberta got a call from a friend in the Dominican Republic. “We’ve found a way to get to you with supplies. I’ll be there tomorrow with 4,000 pounds of food and provisions.”

Wow.

We have all heard the saying “Never Give Up.” We have heard it from infants up into adulthood. But there are times when it feels like you have hit rock bottom and all that is left to do is give up.

I haven’t hit rock bottom. I don’t think it’s possible to get to that “Point of No Return” when you have God on your side. But there are things I have been praying about and trying to fight for here lately and it’s just not happening. It has emotionally drained me and I just can’t do it anymore. I am not giving up…I am giving it to God. I am letting him take full control and letting the fight on my end go. I have been worrying and letting it affect my happy spirit and I just will not do it anymore. So, this is my public confession. I am giving my cares and worries to Him. There is a quote that I absolutely love that goes, “Do your best all day and say your prayers at bedtime. Then get a good sleep and leave the worrying to God, He is going to be up all night anyway.”

I am going to get some rest now. But first, I am going to pray and give all my cares and worries to Him.

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

First off, I would like to introduce you to my niece. Everyone this is Shelby. Shelby this is…everyone. Shelby Ann was born on August 28th, 2009. She has been such a wonderful addition and blessing to our family.

Okay. Now that everyone has been introduced, let’s move on.

A new semester is almost here. We’re days away. I can’t help but be excited. This semester is going to be wonderful for me. There’s so many things going on, I will be extremely busy but I look forward to the busyness ahead. Christmas break was good but now it’s time to get back in the groove of things.

I was once told that by making a new years resolution you are basically saying that you will start something but never finish it. It makes sense. I mean let’s think about this for a second…how many people can you name right this second that said at the end of 2009, “I accomplished every resolution I made at the beginning of the year”? No need to raise your hand. I’ll answer this one for you. Not many, if any at all! It’s just not something you hear very often (or ever). Therefore, I decided to not make a news years resolution but rather a life choice. A life choice that was long overdue.

I feel like last year I was really on the fence with my spiritual life. I was not conducting myself in a Christian manner by any means. While at home for Christmas break I kind of got knocked into reality. I started praying and reading some verses to help me through some hard times I was having to face and it just escalated from there. I realized that sometimes it takes going through some really hard times when you “need” God to realize that He is there not only in hard times but in good times as well. Then you start to realize that no matter what, you need Him. And guess what…no matter what, He is always there! I can tell a difference in my attitude and actions even within weeks of my realization. Amazing how that works. How much better you feel about yourself and how much better your attitude about things becomes by just praying and reading His word.

I am very thankful for my family and the friends I have in my life. There are so many that inspire me and so many I look up to. I am very thankful for where I am at in life and how blessed I am to be at such a wonderful place with wonderful people. And I know that no matter what happens, if I just try to keep a positive attitude (which is not easy to do at times by any means) and let God be in control then things will work out. It may not be within a day or two, it may not work out how I want it to but it’s all according to his plan and I just have to trust in Him, because, I’m pretty sure He knows what He is doing.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones.”

Proverbs 3:5-8